Why women fall in love with daffodils?
These men captivate many bright and successful women. Maintenant, BDSM n’est plus une rareté, une soirée souterraine abordable seulement. Après le film « 50 nuances de gris » BDSM est devenu presque courant, cela essaie tout dans une rangée et les hommes qui viagra pharmacie leurs maîtresses à plusieurs reprises sont déjà altérées par le gourou de domination. Afin de ne pas courir dans un gars qui vient de lire le livre « BDSM pour Doodles », lisez et souvenez-vous. Votre amoureux est quelque chose de sens dans BDSM si. What is not surprising: a narcissus man is brilliant and witty, he is a wonderful boyfriend. The role of the « mirror » of its magnificence may seem fascinating and even honorary. But why women stubbornly hold on to these relationships, even when they turn into torture? Women who suffer toxic relationships with a destructive partner, a psychotherapist from Rome Umbert Telfener addressed her book “Married behind the daffodil. Survival for survival for women in love « . This exciting study in Italy has become a bestseller, but has not yet been translated into Russian. According to Umberta Telfener, there are several deep reasons why women subconsciously choose an alliance with a daffodil: 1. Maternal instinct. Emotionally immature, often oscillating partner turns for a woman into a son, whom she never had or who has already grown. She sees in him an exceptional, smart and gifted « child ». This partner – “son” – can be proud, boast, he illuminates her life with his presence and gives a feeling of constant employment, the need and importance of his role. But at the same time, this “son” is very disappointing when it is actually not so exceptional: he closes in himself, suffers failure, promises, but does not fulfill. Having high self -conceit, it often is not on top. In general, this is a “son” that causes a lot of tenderness and a little anxiety, which is difficult to get angry and who still needs mother and her protection. 2. Rivalry and care of yourself. Many women like the role of the “savior”: they try to breathe energy into their men, to absorb their longing, to return them the joy of life. Take all their hardships. And the Narcissus, indeed, is not able to abandon the admiring gaze aimed at him. Through relations with a narcissist, a woman tries to get closer to an idealized figure from the past But in fact, this game called “to give you life” is aimed not only at a man. This is a competition that women lead with themselves and with their rivals. The call is to win the battle where others were defeated. But the mission is impossible, as a result, they are also waiting for a loss. Very often, after an attempt to save a man lies the need to save himself. Attention and care aimed at him is actually an indirect way to take care of yourself, an attempt to heal your wounds, restore my vitality: “I act with him as I would like to come with me”. 3. Search for the « lost » father. The experience of a woman’s relationship with her father also plays a role. Most likely, in childhood, the adored father was not available to her for some reason, he promised a lot, but in reality he could not match the expectations (and with a high probability was also a narcissistic person). And now, through relations with a narcissist man, a woman is trying to get closer to an idealized figure from the past. This time she hopes not only to resume the dialogue with that dear and beloved person, but also to bring relationships to a happy ending. She again lives familiar sensations of tension and complexity, because her partner, like her father, promises a lot, but in fact it is eliminated and even more requires. 4. Restarting the dominant script. Often it is relations with a man-narcissus that give a woman to realize her repeated behavioral scenario, live it more intensively and finally try to free herself from him. There is a feeling that this type of men is instinctively, like a thin scalpel, offs their pain points – so that they can finally wake up and set an account of the history of their illness, accurately determining the diagnosis. These relations highlight the problems for the whole family history, those fears that were passed down from generation to generation (fear of betrayal, betrayal, loneliness, rejection). And now the moment has come to recognize these fears, live and develop them. 5. Justification of their own ambivalence. Complex relations with a man-narcissance allow you to justify your own ambivalence (“I want-I don’t want”, “I like it-but not so that I would like to be in these relations, but it’s also good that he disappoints me, which means that it means.this is not a story forever « ). Women who are afraid of certainty in relationships often enter into a connection with a man-nartzis, perceive stability as a limitation, feeling something similar to claustrophobia. This is their peculiar protective mechanism. For example, a woman chooses a man who constantly cheats on her, because she herself has a tendency to adultery, but she is not ready to admit it. The campaigns of the partner “left” seem to protect against her own craving for treason. 6. The partner expresses something deep and hidden. In modern culture, women often choose an indirect, indirect way of self -expression. They unconsciously delegate their ability to present himself to the world, to declare a certain position. They hide behind the back of their seemingly strong and influential satellite in order to demonstrate important aspects of their “I” – unusual ideas, strong emotions, controversial judgments, bold acts – which otherwise would remain hidden. The good news is that women who consciously approach such problematic relations get a choice – to suffer further or enter the path of personal growth, on which they will inevitably meet with their male part and other aspects of their personality.
